My journey into professional domination started around 10 years ago, 2013. At that time, I was doing executive protection, I believe. And I was active in the community. I had met someone on recon, I believe, or we bumped into each other at a party. As I’m trying to remember this story, I don’t remember that fact. And for a while, I’ve been saying I met him at a party, which I’m not entirely sure is true. I think we connected through an app first and then met and then maybe met at a party, but I may be getting that mixed up now, if anyone that knows me, my memory’s not so good. And what happened was he wanted to be treated like a dog, humiliated and degraded. And he asked me if I could do it for him. And I said, sure. I felt like I could do that responsibly.
He made me feel confident and competent in what I was doing by asking if I would do that with him. So there was an affirmation through that. I believe we did connect at an event. I went out to Long Island and I met him. And we had a really good session. He was professional. He was cordial. I was nervous. But we hit the ground running. I think by then I had enough time under my belt to have a good hand in what was supposed to happen. I actually do very much because I wasn’t… I was more nervous about safety than I was performance. And that’s always how its been… That’s always been a thing. That’s not true. I’ve been concerned about performance, too, at times.
At the end of the session, there was such a shift in his face, in his energy… From as early as high school, I wanted to help people. I joined the Marines and I got a lot of life experience that way. I got out in 2001 and I didn’t help people per se. Maybe I did, maybe I did in ways I don’t remember, but I had a good time. It gave me an understanding of what it meant to be an “adult”. I also learned a lot about leadership. My leadership experiences there left me feeling affirmed in what I was doing. I got out as a sergeant, and while I wasn’t completely in charge, I was the most certified dude there. And I wasn’t even the senior-most person in the unit I was in.
I was part of a mount military operation, urban terrain. I was the most…had the most training to be the lead. It was a close combat instructors course. It was a firearms instructors course. Because I had the most training to be the lead I guess we will call me the leader at the MTU. The Marksmanship Training Unit. We were there to train Marines. I also had the best score with the rifle and certainly with the pistol. That is part of what put me up there, my score on the pistol range. While I didn’t get to change the world, I felt like I helped people
I also worked in the local nightclubs around that time. My intent was always to help, right, so in the nightclubs I would do like undercover security work and bust the drug dealers. I helped drunk people. Sometimes we had to fight, but I enjoyed that too. It was like a fraternity. It was very fraternal there with the guys that I worked with. I worked in a few gay bars where I had a wide range of experiences. From there I went into law enforcement for just shy of 10 years. I definitely did help people there. I helped people at the service desk. This shit was whack. I didn’t like it. It was very racist, very disempowering.
In fact, I hated it. I did have the honor to transition over to executive protection, working with someone I met while on the job. And he turned into a brother. He’s like a brother to me still and he helped me learn my value through my work. I owe him a debt of gratitude for the lessons he taught me – that we are more than our career. We are more than a moment, but we are a lifetime worth of value. I didn’t learn that until Darrell explained that to me. Steve helped me feel it.
So in this moment I helped this man that I had met on the app and I felt different. I felt accomplished. And I realized at that time there was a calling for me, that I was to connect with others, to find themselves and to help them experience life. I didn’t realize how big of an impact it was going to have on my life. I later learned my connection to God, through BDSM and domination. I’ve learned things about existence that are really hard to deny, just by living. All the evidence is here. My process has developed over a decade and I love saying that. It’s really fucking solid that I can say that. It’s a journey of introspection now. And where I want to go is not just for fetishes and kinks. I want the clients to experience self-awareness and empowerment through the work that we do together. The ability to say, “I am discovering myself, and I am accepting myself, and I love myself for who I am. And I realize that I’m only human and but that I am human.”
I have greater potential than most anyone in any room I walk into. Because I’m making the sacrifice. I’m suffering, looking inward. So the reward is peace, less baggage. Little by little, growth and self forgiveness, and there’s movement. There’s momentum forward. So I don’t want people to be my clients forever. What I want people to do is take these experiences with me, build their own lives and then build their own stories of vulnerability and domination and submission with each person they connect with, in whichever fashion that looks like. To embrace connections. And it sucks because not everyone sees that. Not everyone in my life sees that. But that’s the beauty of it. We get to suffer because the reward is going to be greater than the suffering. It always has been. Why would it change now?
